my healing journey

Posts tagged ‘poetry’

Lust

I have the images,

But not the words.

The sensation

The touch

The drip.

 

Down my spine and between my legs

 

With the tip of your tongue

Bringing me to the edge.

Bite me where it’s sensitive

And warm

Suck me where it’s slippery and

wet.

 

A bit of pain

A lot of pleasure.

 

Ha.

 

Everything is there for you to feast on.

For your eyes only

For you.

 

Innocent and sweet

Like sickly poison.

For I am the scorpion

Deadliest of all signs

Goddess of passion

 

If only lust had a mouth

For words to spill from it’s sweet lips.

Seduction.

Sensuous as they may be.

I breathe them here

–          Today, tonight

 

For you

 

As I cry in anguish

With each new touch

It keeps me wishing

 

Lust.

 

Untitled.

This was written by my friend. I think it pretty much sums up how i feel about past relationships and those who want to control and manipulate free spirits.

 

‘ You cannot tame a butterfly
If you wish it to retain beauty
For only in freedom
Floating in the breeze
Is their splendour manifested

To keep one for yourself, contained
You must catch it in a net
Put it in a jar
Pin it to a board
Rip off its wings
Options boasting of barbarity ‘

Love?

selfishness.

my heart treated like a revolving door.

no mercy, cruel, unkind

blame.

no pity

one time, twice, a third

no more.

false friendships and and false trust

lies.

arguments.

stress

Heartbreak. Tears

Selfish, drunk and stupid

low self esteem

self-worth gone.

dragged on the floor with dirt

like the dirt you are.

embarrassed.

never again.

 

 

 

then the door opens again.

shit.

Mrs Jekyll and Mrs Hyde

I have a friend, but sometime’s it’s an enemy

sometimes she helps me think, 

at other times she helps me cry.

 

One day happiness

The next sorrow

One day sun

the next- a storm of hate

 

she comes and she goes.

there is no control

the drugs don’t keep her at bay

 

she wins hearts and she loses them

she shows love,

then manipulates

in my head there is only room for one.

why?

Always searching for approval

but never my own.

Someone else’s opinion

Is always more important.

                                            Why?

 

Bending over backwards for others

Couldn’t even do the same for myself

Always 2nd class

                                                  Why?

 

Live a life apologising

Never heard the words sorry myself

Apologise for hurt caused by others

Good for nothing.

                                                       Why?

 

Jealousy.

Never live up to others

To her – to him –  everyone –

elses happiness first

nevermind.

Disgust. Not deserving of happiness.

Confidence zilch.

                                                            Why?

 

No priority for me.

Childhood, lost

A childhood,

lost.

No hand to drag me from the darkness,

No saviour within.

No comfort. No touch. No love.

Touch uninvited.

Tongue scathing.

Lost.

No child.

No memory.

No love. Fear.. Fear.

Darkness, No love. Lost

Paranoia

Paranoia haunts me.

Go away.

I hear it’s voice over my shoulder.

In my head. In my skin. In my flesh.

It’s inside me.

It howls. It gnaws. It hunts me down. It posseses my soul. My being.

It’s people I know. It’s people I’ve never know. It’s people I love. It’s people I’ve never loved.

It’s me.

I’d be lost without it. I need it , I crave it.

That state of uncertainty, of insecurity, it’s not quite madness. It is madness

The confusion. The rush. The exhilaration. The lust

Drowning in my own fear. My anxiety. It’s mine.. it’s all mine

It makes me giddy. It makes me sick. Disgust

Give me help.

Video

Spoken word poetry about CSA

Birds

I’m tired of comparing myself to others.

I’m tired of trying to refrain from carrying out certain actions because of who they remind me of

It feels as if there is someone out there, constantly criticising me , my actions and judging me.

But I know that person is me. But I can’t stop it. It’s like paranoia has taken on human form inside my head.

I sketch birds to feel like I’m free.

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