As i write this now i’m still pretty terrified that another spider will just randomly appear in front of me.
but yes, this morning there was a gigantic spider in my room and i went a bit mental. thankfully i was able to find someone to take the spider out.
then over the course of the day i sort of realised where this phobia had originated from. i don’t think i’ve always had this fear. i remember when i was in nigeria and i stayed in a room that had lots of large spiders on the ceiling. this may or may not have been the same trip that the child abuse took place on. but it was still in the same atmosphere, so it’s linked.
the funny thing is that i don’t remember being afraid of the spiders being there, it’s only as i grew older the fear became slightly ridiculous. to me running out of classrooms if a spider was present and now me in adulthood going into a panic when confronted with one, no matter how big or small it may be.
i hate spiders and i hate rapists, and to be honest i really hate all these unnecessary and stupid fears i now have in my everyday life as a result of child abuse.