ok. so i think i am beginning to make signs of recovery but i am still pretty nervous and anxious. i have been going out a lot more of recent, trying to learn how to relax, and i’ve been going back to the way i was in terms of wanting to be myself and not fit into the mould of what other ppl want me to be. ive been meeting up with friends a lot more… well the old friends i still may or may not have after being unwel for a very long time and not knowing how to cope with depression.
it is now more than a year since i first started this blog. i remember where i was then , tired – sleeping for whole days, not eating anything, not showering, my whole life revolving around whatever abusive relationship or guy i was involved with, a lot of drinking to be drunk and fucking random strangers… just to get a bit of attention.
i think the hardest thing to do in the journey of i duno.. journey of what journey of becoming one with ur mental disorder (?), is to first of all accept that you have a mental disorder. this is the first step and is actually pretty challenging. i dont even think i have overcome this first step but i’m getting there. accepting you have a disability takes time and ive found that actively speaking out on the internet and real life to ppl with the same sort of problems as i have has helped a lot.
another issue in this step is facing the issues or events in ur life which may have caused or triggered a particularly mental disorder. this requires being able to actually allow your to actually open up to yousrelf and having the ability to spend time with urself. this is another step which i working on. it helps in term of self -care… which i’ve gradually began to understand the meaning of.
for now i am trying to plan my time slowly and carefully and allow myself to rest and try and learn to be positive once again