involuntarily taking flight.
my mind is not in my body, my body is not with my mind. i am not really on this planet.
floating, floating away…
my head seems heavy, and my body in pain.
i can’t force my body to do what it doesn’t want to do.
for the first time i will have to listen to my body, not my body listen to me.
for the first time i will have to accept i cannot control everything.
this is scary.
yesterday was a weird day for me.
i broke down in tears as i contemplated my life and all the hurt that i have been through.
i acknowledged that i was not stone. that i was human. that my past has affected me, that i need support, that i need help, that i cannot control everything.
i feel pretty helpless and in shock atm.
the full realization of being hurt again and again and having the wind knocked out of you is pretty paralyzing.