It seems to be these days i always come out with the intention of writing about one thing but then i end up writing about a whole bunch of things together.
i might aswel start with the thing that has been bugging me the most today. one of my friends is a bit difficult to handle and today she decided to insult me. to cut a long story short when you try and reach out to someone and they constantly cut you off and reply with one word answers.. you tend to stop giving a shit.
apparently my friend does not have enough time in her day to have a conversation with me over trivial matters.
i think maybe in the past i would have let someone get away with talking to me as if my time is not worthwhile, but for some reason this made me very angry and upset. it made me feel as if i was an irritation. a silly little child. not someone who was trying to reach out to someone who was in trouble.
i am now currently trying to come to terms with the label of ‘disabled’. i think it’s a sort of stigma really which is hard to get over. being diagnosed with depression means i am classified as a disabled student, which means i am liable for certain types of support.
i think it is the whole trying to come to terms with a new identity or fitting together pieces of my life slowly and getting to know who i actually am again.
i still feel very raw from everything that has happened.
i guess things will slowly improve or fit together.. or i duno.
i probably have a lot more thinking to do