patience
i didn’t manage to make it to my martial arts class today, i’m just wrecked by the time i reach the weekend, hopefully this will get better. managed to wake up before evening time today which is an achievement, hopefully will be able to get some work in and eat properly.
i was told that this journey gets easier and you learn how to deal with the feelings better. right now i feel as if i’m dead and there’s no point in opening up and trusting anyone because they all end up leaving you anyway
keep having dreams about those i try to reach out to turning their backs on me and leaving me, also had another dream where i think i was holding hands with myself and running down and endless flight of stairs pushing past all the people who were obstacles in my way and after what seemed like an eternity we made it out of the door and outside.
maybe it will be worth it.