my healing journey

Archive for the ‘Motivation’ Category

I hate waking up

It seems of recent that one of my hobbies is extreme oversleeping. I can sleep from 9pm til midday the next day. Or 1am til 3pm the next day. This is caused by depression, I don’t feel motivated or want to get out of bed. Even if I wake up at say half 7 to pee I will still go back to sleep because it seems way too early. Today when I woke up I had a different pattern of thought, I woke up at around half 10 after snoozing several times and waking up from a nightmare about the domestic violence carried out in my childhood. I have a lot of nightmares of recent, some say it is because I have come off citolapram suddenly, but the majority of my nightmares seem to be me working out stuff in my subconscious. Anyway my realisation was that I am pretty lucky to be alive after all that me and mum went through, but at the moment it doesn’t feel like that. I don’t wake up n the morning rejoicing for another day instead I roll under the duvet and sleep for a few more hours. I suppose it’s a way of avoiding my problems and coping but it doesn’t really help. I get more fatigue, I get depressed because I can’t wake up and fall behind further in university because I am sleeping instead of making my way into class, I get depressed because of the nightmares that I have, I get depressed because of doing university work I am sleeping, I get depressed because I am losing weight due to the fact that instead of eating I am sleeping and I get stressed out because I am getting worse backpain due to lying in bed all day.

 

I don’t really know what to do anymore, I just know I don’t want to get out of bed.

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Video

Guns N’ Roses- November rain

This just lifted me right out of my bad mood.

‘Nothing lasts forever, even cold November rain’
I’m not religious, but Slash is God 🙂

For the Lulz..

I don’t think My Chemical Romance saved MY life, but they bring back good memories 🙂

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