my healing journey

Late Night Rambling

I’ve been meaning to write a blog post for a long time but have been putting it off for a long time like I have been with a lot of self care. I’m back to rock bottom again, not eating , not showering, not going out, and oversleeping.

I feel like I am giving up.

I had a breakdown a few months ago and had flashbacks for the first time. Flashbacks that resulted in me ending up in hospital at 4am in the morning, calling police to my mum and boyfriends house and punching my boyfriend in the face.

I’m not sure what triggered me, it may have been a combination of smoking too much weed alongside attending group therapy and hearing other peoples experiences.

My emotions are a mess. I have not cried in over a year. I have not been myself in at least 2. They put me on antidepressants and antipsychotics but I took myself off them.

I feel like I have lost all my coping strategies.

I am sick of always hitting rock bottom and having to start again but what else can I do, I can’t sleep in my bed forever.

I can’t sleep my life away

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