my healing journey

scared

i have a lot of things i need to write about i guess, because i haven’t written anything in a while. not because i didn’t have anything to, but because i just didn’t.

in 2 days time i will be going to the doctor in order to join an eating disorder group. this is a big change. one that is pretty scary aswel.

i’ve been waking up in the morning and forcing myself to go for walks.. this is scary too.

my counsellor thinks i’m fragile.. this is also scary

and i’ve realised that my counselling will go on for as long as i live… i still don’t know if i want to live.. this is also scary

i met a guy i really like.. and who i think about a lot .. and who makes me smile.. a lot

this is scary.

coming to terms with the fact my family abandoned me as well. scary

getting used to having friendships and maintaining them. scary

rebuilding myself up all over again.

scary

knowing it was me who went through child abuse. is fucking terrifying 

Comments on: "scared" (3)

  1. All of those ‘scary’s mean you are have a lot of courage these days… Trudge on fellow peace-seeker… You are not alone.

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